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November 28, 2010
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****
Ahhhh, million times apologies! Dunno what went wrong, and right when I was off for the weekend of course. Movie should be fixed now.
******


Ah, Crisis Core. I always considered it the big brother of Kingdom hearts 353/2 days.

Both spinoffs staring a tragic minor character, so with both you can assume it'll have a sad and anti-climactic ending, both dedicate a lot of gameplay to small story unrelated missions, both have a "2 best friends fight each other to death" setpiece going on, there's an entire new subplot thrown in the old canon including all new characters that the fandom immediatly hates (Well, dunno if the fandom hates Genesis and Angeal that much, but I for one prefer Xion at least a lot more then annoying endless poetry reading Genesis.. Ughhh.) etcetera etcetera.

On most of these themes, Crisis core faires better then Kingdom Hearts, the missions are optional and there's a lot of story related main missions, the subplot here is a lot better and actually gives the ending of the game still a bit of closure, instead of putting even more emphasis on the anticlimactic nature.. Yes, Crisis Core does a lot better, but there's one thing Kingdom hearts did better, and that's the Xion versus Roxas battle..Which I already found weak there.

But there, the best friends fight each other had more build up, and the characters had at least, tough very abstract and weak, motivations, here the Angeal versus Zack fight is a lot more random.

The one thing both are equally good (err, bad) in, are the lame passive villains. I really dislike modern Square Enix villains. They started with boring "forces of evil" in the first 5 final fantasies, then theyh ad a brief golden era with complete psycho's that, while little substance, where at least a lot of fun and very effective, with Kefka and Seprioth, then we go into the "Uhmm..what?" type of villains in Final fantasy 8 and 9, and ever since then we have villains in which I don't even know WHY they're villains.

What's up with Genesis, all missions where I have to kill him, he's doing nothing but randomly standing around in factories or forests with his clones, reading his damn Loveless poetry. And Angeal is "Whaaa, I'm a monster so I must kill people!". Why dude, it's your own choice. So upset that you have wings? You're a Soldier, you're already a freak of nature, so whatever. I wish the game elaborated more why everyone thinks that having wings= must immediatly kill everyone.

Anyway, that's all peanuts with the MEGA HUGE plothole this game has, destroying it's own 3th act and even Final fantasy 7's sad prologue with it.

Zack adn Cloud work for mega corporation Shinrah, but during an accident they "die" and then get thrown in Shinrah's EVIL laboraties where they're being experimented on. They escape and are now fugitives, desperatly trying to get to Midgar to meet Aeris again, but sadly, Zack is shot and killed right before the city borders.

Good story, except in Crisis core they ruin this by A) Giving Zack a still working cellhpone (which he carried around during his torture sessions in the lab, even tough he was naked? Okay...)

Okay, I guess it's arguable how much of a plothole this is, I guess he never calls Aeris for fear that Shinrah will find out where he is, altough 1) He gets repeatedly attacked by Shinrah during his trip to Midgar, so they already kinda know where he is, 2) he doesn't have to tell Aeris his location, he can just have a normal conversation and 3) If Shinrah can track his cellphone...Well, then calling is not even necesairy to begin with.
So yeah, it's a arguable case, but it still ruins the drama for me to know that Zack was one phone call away from Aeris the entire time.

And then we have plothole B, the real big one.
He can still do missions for Shinra. I COULD have put this under the "It's a videogame, you're supposed to assume these missions happen before the betrayel" thought, but there's one problem.
You get at least one specific mission AFTER, and even ABOUT the Nibelheim incident, Hojo asks you to rekill a copy of Sephiroth for studies.

This means that
A) Shinra still hires Zack while hes'a fugitive
B) Zack happely works with Hojo, the man who personally tortured him
C) Zack happely rekills Seprioth, even tough that fight must have hold 2 or 3 huge trauma's for him by now.
D) Zack helps Shinrah on new fighting data, and Shinrah gives Zack money, which they both can use against each other.
E) Zack can, at any time during his tragic trip to Midgar, just GO to Midgar.
Since it's Canon that he get's this mission after the betrayel, that means all bets are off for all the other missions as well, and there are several missions (especially by the housing office) that are done in the slumps.
So yeah, Zack can happely wander around in Aeris's backyard during any time while he's on his tragically doomed trip to see Aeris.

This plothole blasts so many holes in the plot that it baffles me. Ah Square Enix, you didn't think it trough, did ya?

Thanks to Rugal and Sassi for voices, and if you want to see a...glitchy because of darn Blip.. 3 minute version of Final fantasy 7, go here:

[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkanamelover101:
kanamelover101 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Have to admit; this is pretty accurate... Hilarious anyways!
Reply
:icontiaram:
TiaraM Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Even Godess herself spared Genesis so she don't listen to his poetry in afterlife XD
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Jup
Reply
:iconboizenberi:
BoiZenBeri Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I nearly pissed myself laughing.
Reply
:iconhaimokochan:
haimokochan Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Student General Artist
I guess Zack wasn't very bright.
Reply
:icontrist2468:
Trist2468 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012
Rugal does the best emo voices ever LOL
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
heh, yeah
Reply
:iconmisterkidney:
misterkidney Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
TL;DR Did you know that Cheese was born in a laboratory?
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I MUST DESTROY ALL INTERIOR DESIGNERS
Reply
:iconnawel249:
Nawel249 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2011
Give all fault to the Hollander.
Reply
:iconulurnaga:
UlurNaga Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
BAHAHAHAHAHA!! *gigglesnort* OMG THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
Reply
:iconsylphara:
Sylphara Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
So true.

The whole Genesis-locking-himself-in-a-cave-reading-poetry-thing made me lol.

Anyway, this vid is just amazing. Great job there.

Instant death by "Damn, I'm not in the sequel."
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
jup, that's the problem with prequels, you immediatly know who's going to make it and who won't.
Reply
:icondemonchan22:
DemonChan22 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011
hey the one who do Zacks voice do's he do sora's voice too
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Jup, the same.
Reply
:icondemonchan22:
DemonChan22 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
hey what you gonna do sonic generations or mario and sonic at the london olympic games or something else
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Depends if the games inspire me for jokes.
All I can say is that I'll definitly buy and play Sonic Generations. (dunno about the olympics, might if the DS/3DS version get's a storyline agan)
Reply
:icondemonchan22:
DemonChan22 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
okay oh maybe you can do Phineas and Ferb things or something about Kingdom Hearts or Vocaloid or Portal 2
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Well, making parodies about parodies doesn't tend to work well, so I don't see myself making Phineas and Ferb or portal focused work.

Unless that new Phineas and Ferb movie has some problems.

Never heard of Vocaloid
Reply
:icondemonchan22:
DemonChan22 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011
oh on youtube Vocaloid are a sort of humans that can sing really good but they are japanese

oh maybe you can make a new zelda movie
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
i have no new zelda jokes at the moment, sorry.
Maybe after playing skyward sword.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondiamoneyes:
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011
That's pretty damn accurate :rofl::laughing::lmao::iconlooolplz:
Reply
:iconcat-alin:
Cat-Alin Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011
Can't LOL cause it's 1 AM and .. uh .. not one to really LOL, anyway. Very funny .. but what about Cloud's awesome One-Moment-Scene? HE was the one who got rid of Sephi-chan. And no love for Aerith? D=
And wow, Holly can actually say something other than Laboratory births ..

C-A
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Didn't have jokes for them, but both Cloud ad Aeris appeared in the final fantasy 7 in 3 minutes movie I made at the same time.
Reply
:iconcat-alin:
Cat-Alin Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011
Mhh, could've made a joke on how Aerith goes "MakemeaflowerwagonMakemeaflowerwagonMakemeaflowerwagon-That Flowerwagon you built SUCKS!" joke with her. As much as I love Aerith, that's her mostly said phrase.

C-A
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
I guess, but it wasn't really funny or anything.
Plus it was Zack himself who started it.
Tough it would be funny if I had Zack working on the flower wagon during his missions.
Reply
:iconwarningyou:
warningyou Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011  Student Digital Artist
OMG!!! Yes, THIS is crisis core!!! THIS is Square Enix~!!!
Reply
:iconbonzosan:
Bonzosan Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
God this is so fricken amazing!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks!
Reply
:iconroxas519:
roxas519 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
most awesome 3 min of my life. that was EPIC WIN. tragicbut sadly true. but still WIN XD!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks!
Reply
:icondevona-is-best:
Devona-Is-Best Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011
AHHHH THIS IS SOOO AWESOMEEEEE =D =D =D Lol ending, i though that Cloud's gonna watch him die and steal him sword xDD
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
yeah, that would have worked too
Reply
:iconpingasaur:
Pingasaur Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011
Did you know you were born in a labratory?
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Wha?
ARNDN@EN@!J*(@E*EMDWEDA
Reply
:iconpingasaur:
Pingasaur Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2011
Exactly!
Reply
:iconkell0x:
Kell0x Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2011  Student General Artist
Did you know you were born in a laboratory?
I innstatly want to kill everyone !

I always loved that cheap motive for a character to become evil.
Reply
:iconth3kitsune:
Th3Kitsune Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2011
alert,more monsters being ineffectual
Reply
:iconcolonelrashid:
ColonelRashid Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
Wait... Maybe the Sephiroth mission isn't canon. :/
Are any of the missions canon, actually?
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Depends what you mean with canon.
There is a character In-game that tells you to do these missions at the start of the game. After that, it's never mentioned again.

I guess it isn't entirely canon, still, fact remains, Zack has the in-game option to go walking around Aeris's house after the neibelheim incident.
Reply
:iconcaptainsara2:
captainsara2 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Hahaha! I love this! But yeah you got the entire story right in 3 min
Reply
:iconskiretehfox:
SkireTehFox Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011  Student General Artist
How do you get rid of the bone thing in flash???? I accidentally used it and when I try to fill in the color it won't effing work?! what do I do?!??!?!?!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
Bone thing? No idea what you're talking about. If flash puts a blue square thingy around your pencil drawings, it means it thinks it's a graphic, or movie clip. If you double click on the lines, then you get into a new timeline where you should be able to colour it in. Unless every line of your drawing is a seperate graphic, then you're in trouble and have to start over again.
Reply
:iconskiretehfox:
SkireTehFox Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Student General Artist
Ahhhhhh!!! That's exactly what happened!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Forget the colors. But thanks! now I know!! I WILL NEVER MAKE THAT MISTAKE EVER AGAIN!!!
But anyway great flash! Make more.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Hobbyist Filmographer
or try selecting the entire sructure and select "break apart" in the right mouse menu or in modify or edit. THat might help..
Reply
:iconskiretehfox:
SkireTehFox Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Student General Artist
Okie!! :3
Reply
:iconskiretehfox:
SkireTehFox Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011  Student General Artist
EPIC!!! That's so true!! hahahahaha funny....
if you only the voices were better and funnier.
Reply
:iconflufffanxiii:
FlufffanXIII Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2010
SUNSHINE AND BUNNIES?! I DON'T REMEMBER THAT PART!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2010  Hobbyist Filmographer
it wasn't in the poem, but it might as well be.
Reply
:iconforestpelt:
Forestpelt Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2010
Ya gotta admit, the end of the game WAS pretty sad... XD
Reply
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