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January 14, 2012
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Screenshots made from Final fantasy dissidia, Crisis Core 3, 5, 7 and 9. Kingdom Hearts (Square Enix)
Also Skies of arcadia (Sega) Grandia (Game Arts) Suikoden (Konami) and Sola to robo (CyberConnect2)
Used from Star Wars (Lucas Arts)

Press Space to pause, enter to play, 1-6 to skip to chapters.

Well, here's one of the experiments of this year I was talking about.
Usually I just type a 500 page lecture about my deconstruction of the game's plot, now I do it review style, whoo.
...Altough, technically, this is not a review. More of a deconstruction/ analysis of the plot.



No, I'm not ripping of Thatguy. It's more modeled after Plinkett/ Cracked.com ,if anything.

So 19 minutes of dissidia parody, plus 8 minutes or so review.
To make up for the Kingdumb Hearts Void.

As for the review. Err, it's probably something I'll only do once, I have no idea if people are capable of sitting trough me stumbling trough the english language for 10 minutes.
Or if these kinds of reviews are allowed on DA.
But hey, I wanted to try doing this once, so there.

In hindsight, I would have made more sense to have This on the Coolape website and the sketches here.
Hmm. Ah well.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconglider4:
glider4 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
I don't really get how Square comes up with their stories. Kingdom Hearts 2 had some of these problems
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Unfortuantely, yeah.
Reply
:iconmattwo:
mattwo Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Of course no one even cares about the story, people are either playing it to beat up characters with characters and look for innuendo( [link] [link] ), or to strengthen their shipping as you mentioned.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Fair enough.
Never the less, it makes me sit trough hours of cutscenes, and there's not enough unnuendo to entertain me trough all the gibberish and nothingness.
Reply
:iconmattwo:
mattwo Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
To be honest, I don't think looking for innuendo was why they were playing. I was joking.
Reply
:iconmetalheadfan2500:
MetalHeadFan2500 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013
You gotta check out Spoony Review of Final Fantasy 12 with an amazing rant on confusing plots
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Yeah i follow him.
Reply
:iconredahfuhrerking:
Redahfuhrerking Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
....well, this proves to me that square wanted to make drama stuff and ultimate random things.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
well yeah, that goes without saying.
Reply
:iconallenx2:
ALLENX2 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012
i loved final fantasy 9. i wish they made a part two of it intead of the 10th one with tidus
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Yeah, I love Final fantasy 9 too.
Especially the first half of the first cd.
After that it has a weird mix between "I LOVE THIS" and "Wha...what the hell happened I can't follow it...GHAAGH"
Reply
:icontrist2468:
Trist2468 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
Hey, you know that this was gonna be a Kingdom Hearts game?

Yeah, suddenly the friendship themes seem obvious in a game with Disney as part of its production.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
So they swapped all characters without changing the dialogue? That explains a lot.
Reply
:icontrist2468:
Trist2468 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2012
Most likely.
I mean, Cloud and Squall could've been Sora, most of the villains would've be Riku, Emperor would be Xehanort, and WoL probably would've been even WORSE than he already is, but still WoL.
Reply
:iconapokaliz500:
Apokaliz500 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012
Well, I have to say I still like the anime, even if they sometimes are like that. Yu-Gi-Oh! was a perfect example of that, I have to admit X"D I watched 67th episode of ZeXal yesterday and when Tron was defeated he instantly changed his mind about friendship X"D And then he sacrificed his life a few seconds later X"D
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
The thing about anime is that they're too damn addictive.
I'm adicted to Detectie Conan, and I KNOW the series is dumb and I KNOW teh story barely advances and I KNOW every episode is the same predicteble shlock, yet I keep watching.
That's why I refuse to watch any other popular anime.I Don't think my brain can handle being addicted to more of those dumb series.
Reply
:iconapokaliz500:
Apokaliz500 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Well, personally, I'm somehow not able to jump to conlclusion that YGO is a dumb anime. Well, if you watched GX, for example, they explained that the Duel Monsters is very important thing in the universe and that whould explain most cases being solved by Duels.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
The devil's in the details.
Card games in general might make sense, and I can perfectly understand yugi using card matches when dealing with his friends. Heck, I can even picture Pegasus using cards as a more gentleman way of dealing with things.
However there's plenty of moments in the series where Yugi's friends are in danger, there's a time limit, they're dealign with villains who want to outright kill everyone. There comes a time where Card games is no longer "important" and "a honoury manner of dealing matters" but just completely stupid.

Same with Detective Conan. Of course most cases and Conan's behaviour makes sense in a very broad and general way. But there's so many episodes where easier, smarter and better alternatives are available and Conan has much more pressing matters then solving some generic murder case.
Reply
:icondavisthehedgehog:
DavisTheHedgehog Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2012
hahaha
Reply
:iconsuperhadou:
SuperHadou Featured By Owner May 24, 2012
Pretty good review, dude. Though on Sephiroth, I never thought he was a really consistent or really good villain ever. He always had shaky motivations as best. But that's just me. Still, Dissidia Sephiroth was completely different from FF7's and is just some dude that does poetry.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner May 25, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Well, Sephiroth is a shaky villain, sure, because you only meet him every once in a long while, plus I'm not sure how much he's acting of his own or from brain washing.
Not saying he's a great villain.
But at least he's an actual villain. Killing people, destroying the earth, that sort of thing.
With Dissida, or any other modern Square Enix game, I have no idea why I'm killing the villains.
They're just weird poetry spouting guys that just aimlessly wander around.

Heh, sweet to get a comment from Mister Van Driessen himself.
Reply
:iconsuperhadou:
SuperHadou Featured By Owner May 25, 2012
Well, you got a good point there, actually. We didn't get too good of an image of Sephiroth to begin with, so he did seem shaky if only for that. But yeah, you atleast have a reason to kill him.

It is quite different from, say, The Organization in KH who really just seem to be confused people who are longing to have their place in the world again and not really doing much of anything. I had no idea why they killed Demyx, for example because he was fairly mellow in the story and probably would have went to their side if they convinced him.

Speaking of that. This is a highly bold statement for me to say, but... I wouldn't waste a dollar on KH:3DS. I know it's off topic, but I've seen the spoilers for that game. The story has become hundreds of times more batshit insane than ever before and millions of times more incoherent. Let me just say there's time travel involved in the main story now.

On that last bit, well, man. Mister Van Driessen is, like, totally awesome, dude.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner May 26, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
I will buy KH3d.
It having a insane story is even more of a reason, since I mostly play them for parody reasons.
Besides that, I already wasted money on the pointless Re-coded. At least the 3ds game has new levels.
Reply
:iconaxquirix:
Axquirix Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012
I preferMonster Hunter's plot
"Hey, the guy who protects our village went and got hurt / there's a giant monster being annoying / any other reason to need a Hunter. You're our new hunter, because you went and brought the game so you probably want to hunt monsters. Have some swords, go kick ass." That's basically it. In Freedom Unite, the whole point of the plot is to avenge the previous hunter (who's still alive, but so grievously wounded that he can't do anything but stand confidently on the roadside with his arms folded voicing encouragement for you) by killing the Tigrex. Before that, you go through Cephadromes, Blagnongas, Yian Kut-ku and Daimyo Hermitaurs, with no plot bearing other than "You're a monster hunter, here are some monsters to hunt. You will be compensated handsomely." Then you fight the Tigrex, kill it, everyone's all "Yay!" and you get the ending cutscene. And then the last tier of quests unlocks, so you go do them as a bonus. Then High Rank unlocks, which is all the quests again but harder, plus some new ones, with most of the pointless gathering quests stripped out. Then G-Rank unlocks, which is the same again, dropping everything except hunts (and some of the easier hunts are dropped at that). It basically admits "Okay, you beat the token plot monster, then kicked it's friends ass enought to be wearing them like a suit. Have some more gameplay, because you're probably emersed enough in that to not need a storyline any more".

And it works brilliantly.

TL:DR "Monster are attacking our village! Are you a bad enough dude to stop them, and a hell of a lot of their friends that aren't doign anything bad to anyone?"

And even that goes out the window in multiplayer.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Depends how the game does that.
If it's explained in one sentence, sure.
But if I have to sit trough several minute long explanations, then it'd drive me nuts anyway.
Reply
:iconaxquirix:
Axquirix Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2012
It gets it all out of the way in about five kinutes at the start, then throws you into some tutorials / simple missions. Then you have free run of the quests list.
Reply
:iconc-dee:
C-Dee Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
You know what? This all sounds... Well, let me put it like this.
I draw on memories of political campaigning here in the U.S. Then, I drop any remembrance of what they actually said. Wash, rinse, and repeat for all of them. I am left with the same thing this review points out- it's just a bunch of people trying to sound smart by riddling badly and insulting each other.

...Could this be the model Enix uses for its games? Could the model perhaps be... U.S. political campaigning? Good god, it sounds like it to me. Marvellous work, you managed to open my eyes to the flaws of this... game... which... takes... forever... to... get... through... the... cutscenes... which... are... all... too... slow... as well as where Enix gets the game model. It also pointed out how utterly stupid elections here are... All we need is open fighting in the streets- Street Fighter -then we'd match them perfectly. What they design as games, we use as our election process! YAAAY!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Well, the sad thing with elections is that most people don't have the patience to actually listen to a politician tell his story and plans, and instead bases his/ her entire opinion on one liners or broad rumors going around.
So having a catchy one liner and throwing mud in your oponents face gets you much better results then actually being a politician with plans and strategies.
Reply
:iconc-dee:
C-Dee Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
...Hm... Just like listening to your heart, instead of using logic! Take that, Onion Knight!
Reply
:iconmilesdafoo616:
MilesDaFoo616 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012
I wonder what you think about Dissidia 012's plot then, which I saw a bit of and think that its even worse.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
not played the game yet, my psp died.
Reply
:iconmilesdafoo616:
MilesDaFoo616 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012
ouch. Sorry man
Reply
:iconjamesu-kun:
Jamesu-kun Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
Probably affraid that the game would be too short, considering what you have left of it, if you remove all the cutscenes and boring stories alltogether. xD;;
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
true.
That's why I like fast paced arcade games.
No time stall nonsense.
Reply
:iconeverspirt:
Everspirt Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012  Student General Artist
darn you poet smurf!
Reply
:iconsilenthunter3000:
silenthunter3000 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012
That was relly great. My personal favorit was the Discussion Part.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks
Reply
:iconshahiirosan:
shahiirosan Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012
oho..................so this is what jp anime is about. i shoul watch more american cartoon.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
nah, this is mostly Square Enix. If you want to know how anime are, you better watch this video:
[link]
Reply
:iconguilrel:
Guilrel Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012
Sad part is, it seems like Cloud was the only one that's normal, who keeps screaming "What the heck are we fighting for?! I want to go home." But everyone ignores him and keeping talking about their goals and dreams that has nothing to do with this world. Sephiroth didn't really help things either all he does is just keep coming to Cloud saying "Ah Ha! I control your life and you'll never be rid of me, Mwahahahaha!" The story made little sense, but at least I managed to follow how they got out of it, but still I kind of agree with you that it was a mostly an empty story.
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
heh, true, Squall and Cloud were the only ones behaving kinda realistically and in character.
The one story where walking around unwillingly and confused is the best way to act.
Reply
:iconk-e-y-k-o:
K-E-Y-K-O Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
I feel betrayed but Square Enix
Reply
:iconsuzuriheinze:
SuzuriHeinze Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
This was not only hilarious, it was true. Thanks for the laughter! I enjoyed this little video so much, I can't put it into words!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks, glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconwaimbert:
Waimbert Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Wow, you just sum up everything I loath about in the more recent Square Enix games, alot of pointless poetry reading and borring dialogue have made their game stories look like some type of bad soap opera. There no context, or engaging character developement at all in these new games, but I can't help but support their games dispite horrible writing and even worse Twilight level dialogue. I guess I am just suck into this series even with their mediocrity. Though great video by the way.XD
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks!
Reply
:iconwaimbert:
Waimbert Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012
You're welcome!XD
Reply
:iconmariomario8822:
MarioMario8822 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
Onion Knight did something that should be in Kingdom Hearts.
Reply
:icondave37:
DAVE37 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012
and this is why kingdom hearts is the better good cause kingdom hearts as all of this!
Reply
:iconrogerregorroger:
Rogerregorroger Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Hah. Just read an article about the upcoming Dream Drops KH game and appearently Tetsuya Nomura has said that THIS game will be about friendship and trust.
uhh, unlike all the other Kingdom hearts games apparently.
So yeah, I'm Suuuuuuuure that game will have none of the complaints I had here for Dissidia.
Reply
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